"When dragons belch and hippos flee My thoughts, Ankh-Morpork, are of thee Let others boast of martial dash For we have boldly fought with cash We own all your helmets, we own all your shoes. We own all your generals - touch us and you'll lose. Morporkia! Morporkia! Morporkia owns the day! We can rule you wholesale Touch us and you'll pay.

We bankrupt all invaders, We sell them souvenirs, We ner ner ner ner ner ner by the ears, Er ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner, Ner ner ner ner ner ner, ner ner ner ner ner, Ner your gleaming swords, we mortgaged to the hilt. Morporkia! Morporkia! Ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner We can rule you wholesale Credit where it's due."